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Does a romantic relationship always begin with physical attraction? Judging from the following narrative, it seems that if two people are on the same wave length, it’s possible for them to intuit their compatibility before they feel a physical attraction. When Nando Parrado, a race car driver, met Veronique, he wasn’t dazzled by her extraordinary beauty and voluptuous body the way he had been with other women. Instead, a feeling of calm stole over him.

How could he overlook Veronique’s good looks and focus his attention on their “meeting of the minds”?
Parrado had developed a close relationship with his subconscious many years before he met Veronique. It happened when he was in a plane that crashed into the side of a mountain in the Andes.  After months of being stranded in the damaged fuselage, he became convinced he was going to die. But after a conversation with his subconscious, he was able to reject the inevitability of death. That gave him the courage to leave the protection of the fuselage and trudge over the steep, ice-covered mountains to a small village where he contacted the authorities who arranged to rescue the surviving passengers.

When Parrado met Veronique, his subconscious went into action again, assuring a happy outcome at another stage of his life.

A feeling of calm is a sure sign that your subconscious is offering you helpful information. It might even play that role as you search for your soul mate. But first you need to establish a relationship with your subconscious, as Parrado did. A good place to learn how to do that is in The Subconscious: Your Port in the Storm.

Romance Is More than Skin Deep

“Good looks shouldn’t enter into a romantic relationship, some people say. It’s character that counts.” But anyone who dismisses physical appearance in attracting a mate is missing the point. It’s the snare that Nature uses to trigger the mating process, thereby assuring the continued existence of the species.  

Lynn Barber, a well-known English journalist in her autobiography, An Education, tells why she chose the man to be her husband. “Why was I so sure David was the One? Well, first and foremost, because he was gorgeously handsome. … People say you shouldn’t marry for looks, but I disagree: If I tot up all the pleasure I got from looking at David over the years, I’d say it amounted to a very substantial hill of beans. But of course there were other qualities too.”

Barber goes on to describe those other qualities — the bond created by the ways in which they are alike and, finally and most importantly, the quality he has in such abundance that it makes up for her lack of it!

Because a partnership involves far more than just sex, qualities of character become increasingly important with the passage of time. That’s why, while we think we’re just  drawn to someone for their looks, we are also taken by the personality that comes with the type of looks we prefer. We may not be aware of this, but our subconscious is and, without our knowledge, points us in the direction of that person.

Best Bet for a Happy Marriage: Inuition

On occasion a swift glance can be all it takes for two people to know they are meant for each other. Despite such scant evidence of compatibility, the ensuing marriage is, from my observations, long lasting and happy — ironically, far more so than when marriage vows take place after much consideration and a lengthy courtship.

Ralph Moss’s marriage is an example. He first saw the girl who would become his wife when he was in seventh grade. He was walking down the stairs to get to history class while she was walking up the  stairs on her way to gym. After nothing more than a quick look into her eyes, he stopped her and said, ”Someday you’re going to have my name.” To this day he can’t figure out how he knew that.

In a wedding described in The New York Times’s Vows section on Nov. 9, 2014, bridegroom Andrew said of Kelly, “I always had an idea I would know, and I didn’t know how I would know, but when I met Kelly I knew.”

Kelly’s initial encounter with her future husband was reminiscent of her grandmother’s with the man who would become Kelly’s grandfather. She was a young girl, when, at a gathering of refugees in a hotel in Poland, she climbed on top of a table and began to pirouette. Mordicai, her future husband then 12, walked into the room, took one look at her and said to his father, “This is the girl I‘m going to marry.”

What is obvious from such brief face-to-face encounters is that far more than eye appeal is involved. Those qualities that these men intuitively knew fit their own to perfection were reflected in the facial features of the girls their intuition told them they should take notice of.


A Meaningful Coincidence to Usher in the New Year


Some incidents are so improbable they can’t be attributed to chance. That’s why they’re referred to as meaningful coincidences, or synchronicity. Because I believe they originate in the subconscious, I’ve included a chapter about them in my book, The Subconscious: Your Port in the Storm.

The following meaningful coincidence comes from an unexpected source. In a book by neuroanatomist Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor about her massive stroke and rehabilitation, My Stroke of Insight: A Brain Scientist’s Personal Journey, she describes a seemingly random incident in which she sees a hidden purpose.

One year after her stroke, she moved from Boston back to her hometown of Bloomington, Indiana. The phone number she was given turned out to be the exact day, time, and year of her birth. Taylor calls this pattern a good omen. It let her know that her move was “at the right place at the right time.”  

What enabled Jill to step outside her scientific approach to the brain and call what most people would consider a coincidence a good omen? It may well have been the insight she gained during the eight years she spent trying to restore the intangible functioning of her brain — her thought processes. Meanwhile, her intuitive intelligence, alive and well in her subconscious, was functioning independently of her conscious brain.

Is it time to tap into your subconscious?


Where Is Your Subconscious?

Jill Bolte Taylor, Ph.D. wrote a book, My Stroke of Insight: A Brain Scientist’s Personal Journey, about having a stroke in the left hemisphere of her brain. The stroke took away her ability to think, talk, and remember. This confirmed what she had read in medical textbooks: that cognition — thinking and learning — takes place in the left half of the brain. The stroke was so massive that it took eight years for her to get back to normal. Her disability, however, had one huge bonus. During the time her left brain was virtually “dead,” she became aware of how the right half functioned.

What surprised her was that with only her right brain operating, her feelings were all positive. This led to a discovery: Only the left side of the brain harbors negative thoughts! With her left brain out of the picture, her selfishness, ambition, jealousy, resentfulness, hate, greed, contempt, and the desire to prove oneself better than others vanished into thin air! In their place were the right brain’s positive feelings: peaceful bliss, joy, compassion, and good will toward the whole world.      

What astounded Dr. Taylor even more was the fact that the self she had grown up with had not survived her neurological catastrophe. This self had been obliterated along with the rest of her left brain!
The subconscious, like our right brain, is without any self-interest or ego. Could that mean that the subconscious is located somewhere in the right half of our brain? It’s not likely, since the subconscious not only contains our past memories, but also, like the left brain, helps us solve problems and make decisions.  

Though Dr. Taylor has brought us new insight into the differences in how the left  and the right brain function, we still don’t have a hint about where our subconscious is hidden!


Listen to Your Inner Voice

For most of the time humans have walked this earth, our conscious and subconscious minds were on the same wave length, thinking along similar lines. Then along came the Industrial Age about 250 years ago that ushered in a new way of thinking. We began to think sequentially, focusing on one small part of a thing at a time, instead of first assessing the whole.  

Our subconscious continues to think “the old fashioned” way, so there’s a split between the two minds. When our conscious mind needs help, our subconscious does not automatically kick in the way it used to.  We have lost the close contact we once had with our inner mind — and the bounty of wisdom and confidence it provides.  

To keep to the path humans were meant to follow, we need to restore our relationship with the subconscious. To learn how to open up the channels to your inner mind, read The Subconscious: Your Port in the Storm.



Infatuation can be nothing more than an emotional reaction. Especially when it’s expressed like this:

“Brittany has a crush on Justin.” 

“Kathi has fallen head over heels for Kevin.”

Surface attraction is triggered by good looks, a seductive figure, and the ability to charm and amuse. When someone asked David Niven, a popular movie star in the fifties and sixties, why women fell for him in droves, he replied, ”I make them laugh.”  
An infatuation based on superficial qualities is so intense it burns itself out in no time. While it is raging, however, it can trigger ill-fated behavior. Take Shakespeare’s Romeo. Being fickle by nature, he had many infatuations, including Rosaline whom he swore he was willing to die for. Then he saw Juliet. One glance and Rosaline was history. Although having had only a few brief heart-to-hearts with Juliet, Romeo killed himself when he discovered her on a funeral bier. Obsessive infatuation drove Romeo to make the ultimate sacrifice.

How can you tell whether your infatuation is just the tip of an iceberg, a sure sign of something deeper? If you’re certain that you and your lover are meant for each other —and this puts you in a state of calm — there’s a good chance your relationship is on solid ground.  

Rodney and Colleen are a good example of that. The depth of their feelings was immediately evident, when, as they were soaking in a hot tub, Colleen reached out and put her thumb on Rodney’s forehead. He said it landed on his third eye: “That was the turning point. There was something between us that was unavoidable.”

Although Rodney was aware that his instant attraction to Colleen reflected a deep connection between them, he didn’t know why they were a perfect fit. As the events of their lives unfold, his subconscious will enlighten him.

Learn how connecting with your subconscious can help you form a deep romantic relationship by reading my book, The Subconscious: Your Port in the Storm.      



Before being single became respectable, a young woman’s main objective in life was finding a husband. It was a matter of survival––less physical than psychological.  A single woman was pitied, scorned, and  dismissively referred to as “an old maid.”

The purpose of marriage in eras gone by was to unite two families and was based on financial considerations. Dowries were the bait used to attract families with eligible sons.  But about a hundred years ago, arranged marriages came to an end.  While many women, freed from a family arranged marriage, talked about finding a man they could fall in love with––preferably “tall, dark, and handsome”–– reality seldom coincided with dreams.

In the early part of the 20th century, college became the prime hunting ground. Blind dates were -- and still are -- another route to the alter. Online dating services, according to statistics, have in the last 20 years become the most frequently used matchmakers. Considering that the divorce rate has, for many years, hovered around 50 percent, such deliberate efforts to find a partner don’t work out as often as they should. What’s missing is intuitive attraction.

After Jane’s deliberate attempts to find a husband failed, a chance encounter worked. Just out of college, she moved from a small town in New Jersey to New York. Jane went on countless dates, attended every party she was invited to, and spent weekends skiing though she hated the sport. Yet after ten years, she hadn’t found anyone she liked well enough to marry.

Finally Jane made contact with the man of her dreams. It happened when she went to see a Broadway play. During the intermission, as she was walking up the aisle, she glanced at a man walking down the aisle. He glanced at her at the same time.

The attraction was instant. Eye contact was all it took for them to realize they had found what they had both been unconsciously looking for. The secret of their success? Their conscious minds were caught off guard so their subconscious had a chance to work its magic. They have been happily married for 15 years. I tell this story in greater detail in Chapter 16 of The Subconscious: Your Port in the Storm.


Modern science says there’s only one truth––reality. To be considered of value,  a thing must be seen, heard, touched, smelled, or verified according to scientific laws. 


This fixation on all things tangible, which started a couple of centuries ago and is thriving in today’s digital revolution, has pushed the subconscious—one of humanity’s most valuable assets—out of the picture. No longer do most people have access to or rely on their intuition to guide them.


What got lost when machines and technology became supreme was a sense of human history—that what our ancestors thought, felt, learned, and accomplished as they struggled to survive was meaningful. So everything that happened before machines was meaningless. This gave rise to the belief that the brain at birth is a blank slate, making each individual the sole architect of his or her life. 


Sigmund Freud substantiated this idea. He was the first psychologist who defined the subconscious, according to modern scientific principles, as a storehouse of memories that took place during the individual’s lifetime, some of which gave rise to neurotic feelings, particularly unhappy ones repressed in youth.


Taking the opposing stance, psychologist Carl Gustave Jung asserted that every individual’s subconscious contained his or her ancestral and racial memories that could be used to help the individual deal with the land mines they encounter in life––provided they were able to make contact with their subconscious. 


My own life experiences, many of which were presented to me by my subconscious, have enabled me, in conjunction with Jung’s theories, to lead a successful life and were a motivating force behind my writing The Subconscious: Your Port in the Storm. The strategies in this book are invaluable tools for linking up with the subconscious. Part 1 of the book offers many ways to access it:


•    Find your subconscious by losing yourself (Chapter 2). 


•    Trust your intuition to save your life (Chapter 3). 


•    Breaking free from your routine can activate your subconscious (Chapter 4).


•    The importance of “meaningful coincidences” (Chapter 9).


•    Dreams often reveal your inner wisdom (Chapter 11). 


Counteracting today’s obsession with machines we use on a daily basis—cell phones, computers and email, ipads and ipods—can restore in us the close connection our ancestors had with their subconscious. And provide the inner resources we need to successfully navigate a rewarding life. 

Access Your Hidden Resource

Do odd coincidences happen to you? You’re thinking of a friend and she calls you out of the blue. Or you’ve lost something you really need and it suddenly turns up where you least expect it.

If those sorts of things happen to you routinely, that means your subconscious — an innate but subtle extension of your conscious mind — is at work. And what a blessing that is. Because it means you have access to a wonderful resource that is always at your disposal. But it can do much more than help you keep in touch with friends or find things. It’s a constant companion, a treasure chest of vital information and guidance you can draw on at any time.

Say you’re not satisfied in your current job, but afraid you won’t find anything better in the current job market. Just ask your subconscious to help you find work that challenges and excites you. That doesn’t automatically mean something will show up immediately or without some trial and error. But it does mean that your subconscious will lead you, sooner or later, to a job that’s better for you — maybe even perfect for you.

If you’re not aware of your subconscious working in your life, but you’re curious and you’d like to learn more, you’ve come to the right place: The Subconscious: Your Port in the Storm. My book is chock full of examples of how your inner self works and how you can access it.

Let’s be clear: My book is not new age psychobabble. It’s grounded in science and experience — my experience and the experiences of family, friends, and many famous people. That makes it a practical resource for everyone who chooses to tap into its wisdom.  

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